Jokes about Italians

Italian humor, folks. They say it’s one of the best – and you know what? I believe it. Not only are Italian jokes downright funny, sometimes, but they can also be too smart that it would take a few seconds to realize the funny part of it. It’s like a comedic mind game if you will.

And the best part? Italians like to use irony. It’s like they’re saying one thing, but really meaning the opposite. It’s like a secret language that only they can understand. And let’s face it – they’re pretty darn good at it.

But the real kicker? They like to joke about themselves. That’s right, folks. They’re not afraid to poke fun at their own quirks and stereotypes. And you know what? They don’t generally find it offensive. In fact, it’s a good source of jokes for many Italians because it’s always relatable.

So without further ado, let’s dive into some jokes about Italians that clearly define Italian humor. And let’s be honest – if you’re not Italian, it might take a few seconds to catch on. But trust me, folks, it’s worth it.

Audi Quattro

Oh, ho ho! We’ve got a little situation on the border between Switzerland and Italy. Five Germans roll up in an Audi Quattro and the Italian border police are like, “Uh uh, not today!” They arrest them faster than you can say mamma mia!

The driver cracks open the window and the customs officer starts telling him that it’s illegal to sit in a Quattro with five people. And the driver is like, “Wait, what?” He’s surprised and confused, like a cat wearing a dog costume.

Then the Italian officer drops the bombshell: “Quattro means four!” And the German is all like, “Dude, Quattro is the name of the car! Look in the papers, this thing is designed for 5 people!”

But the officer won’t budge, he’s like a statue made of spaghetti. “You’re in the car with five people, that’s against the law!”

Well, the German is not having it. He’s irritated. “Call in your superior!” he demands. “I want to speak to someone more intelligent than you!”

And what does the Italian officer say? “Sorry, buddy, that won’t work. He’s busy with two people in a Fiat Uno!” Oh, snap! That’s like getting dunked on by a pizza delivery guy.

But seriously, folks, let’s give it up for these border patrol officers. They work hard to keep our countries safe and secure. And if that means enforcing some quirky laws and regulations, so be it. Just remember, when in Rome… or in this case, when in Italy, don’t mess with the Quattro!

FIAT

By the way, what does FIAT stand for? Fix It Again, Tony!

Tony

And why are most Italian men named Tony? Because when they got on the boat to America, they stamped To NY (Tony) on their foreheads. 

Carabinieri

We’ve got a comedian in a cafe and he’s ready to tell a joke about the carabinieri. For those of you who don’t know, the carabinieri are the Italian military police. And let me tell you, they don’t mess around!

So the comedian starts his joke, and from the back of the room, a voice pipes up: “Watch out, friend, for I am one in service.” Uh oh, looks like we’ve got a live one here!

But the comedian doesn’t skip a beat. He’s like a shark in a tuxedo, always moving forward. “Good,” he says, “then I’ll explain it to you later!”

An Italian with his hands in his pockets

What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pockets? Deaf and dumb! That’s like a joke from a different era, when people thought it was funny to make fun of other cultures. But let’s not go there, shall we?

Antonio Caroni’s mother

We’ve got a good one here, folks. What is Antonio Caroni’s mother called? Macaroni! That’s like a pasta-themed punchline. I love it!

Five

A Roman guy walks into an ice cream parlor, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five, please.”